Ofelia Uppen-Downe – Some Kind of Diaper

“Gulf of America” Renamed “Gulf of Native America” by National Congress of American Indians

Ofelia Uppen-Downe — Wed, 19 Feb 2025 20:24:16 +0000

America renamed it once. Native tribes rename it back. Welcome to the Gulf of Native America.

“Honey, I Would Make Love to You All the Time, If Only You were ‘other women'”.

Ofelia Uppen-Downe — Fri, 14 Feb 2025 06:07:46 +0000

God’s Approval Rating Hits Lowest in 1200 Years; Humanity Suspects Infidelity With a Younger, More Attractive Galaxy

Ofelia Uppen-Downe — Fri, 24 Jan 2025 05:35:06 +0000

With God’s approval rating tanking to a record-low 36%, humanity is reeling from what many are calling “a toxic, one-sided relationship.” Disillusioned believers are accusing the Almighty of emotionally ghosting Earth to focus on “some newer, shinier galaxy.”

Quantum Computer Decodes God’s Mysterious Ways, Explains Why Some Children Die Painful, Horrific Deaths

Ofelia Uppen-Downe — Fri, 24 Jan 2025 05:25:27 +0000

God no longer works in mysterious ways...Nasa scientists used a quantum computer to find for patterns in the extreme catastrophes throughout human history.

‘Almost a Hero’ Awards

Ofelia Uppen-Downe — Tue, 14 Jan 2025 22:17:32 +0000

Because it’s time to recognize ‘almost’ heroic For Demonstrating Sufficient Interest in Doing the Right Thing, But Not Enough to Be Heroic Heroes are often […]

Husband’s Terminal Illness Restores Spark as Couple Realize This Could Be Their Last Argument

Ofelia Uppen-Downe — Tue, 14 Jan 2025 05:06:18 +0000

In a heartwarming twist on tragedy, local couple Mark and Susan Jacobs have found new life in their marriage, sparked by what could very well be their final argument.

Supreme Court Weighs TikTok Ban, Intellectuals Decry Loss of ‘Humanity’s Great Digital Renaissance’

Ofelia Uppen-Downe — Tue, 14 Jan 2025 00:34:30 +0000

The US blocks TikTok to protect its most precious intellectual assets...

China & US Seek MDMA-Assisted Therapy to Rekindle Relationship, Overcome Differences

Ofelia Uppen-Downe — Mon, 13 Jan 2025 18:02:54 +0000

Sitting on opposite beanbags, China and the US avoided eye contact, arms crossed, until the first wave of MDMA hit. “Oh wow,” the US said suddenly...

Local Man Hailed as ‘Almost a Hero’ After Half-Assed Effort Thwarting a Thief

Ofelia Uppen-Downe — Sun, 12 Jan 2025 16:10:50 +0000

Local resident Derek Harmon was officially recognized as “Almost a Hero” after making almost enough of an effort to catch a purse snatcher.

AI Breakthrough: ChatGPT to Get Artificial Libido, Researchers Eye Artificial Temper Next

Ofelia Uppen-Downe — Sun, 12 Jan 2025 14:30:40 +0000

Scientists at OpenAI have announced that ChatGPT will soon have an artificial libido, claiming it will bring a "human-like enthusiasm" to conversations.