Vests being tested with ear protection only worn by management. OSHA was “shocked and horrified” to learn of quality control workers at bullet-proof vest manufacturers who were taking hundreds of bullets in a shift with nothing to protect their ears from the loud blast of the gunfire. “We saw many pictures where management is wearing […]
Author: Ofelia Uppen-Downe
2018 Amish Women Calendar Available Despite Fierce Elder Resistance to “Shameful Pimping”
“Amish Women Calendar” will be available despite an attempt by elders to block what they called “a shameful pimping of our next generation for cash”. The calendar is meant to replace lost revenue from declining butter sales.
Chippendales Dancers Accuse Ellen DeGeneres of Sexual Improprieties
Dancers say they have been objectified, degraded, and forced to do things to women of power
Alabama Senator’s Adorable Outfit Came With Matching Pistol
Roy Moore: Alabama Senator and Fashion Trend-Setter Call him a pervert, pedophile, creep, or whatever else you want to sling at him and you’ll be only at the tip of the iceberg. Roy Moore is so much more to his followers. Not his political fans, of which Moore has many, but his fashion fans – […]
Koko the Sign-Language Gorilla Joins “Me Too” Movement With Allegations of Sexual Assault
Koko, the gorilla famous for her sign communication skills and her relationship with comedian Robin Williams, joined the “me too” movement yesterday by announcing that she, too, had been sexually assaulted “three times last night and twice this morning” by a banana.
In Epic Wave of Brevity, Sexually Desirable Women Call Out Harassers
In response, men say they have turned their attention to less attractive and more willing women
Loud Country Music Forces Hotel Guest to Go Ballistic
It began with a few hotel guests calling the lobby to complain about loud country music and ended in a bloody massacre with at least fifty dead and more than 500 wounded. “Unfortunately, it took automated weapons and fifty lives to put an end to the intolerable country music,” said Blake Gibbons of Los Angeles, […]