As the pandemic hits record numbers all over the US, hospitals have sounded the alarms, warning politicians and the public that, unless preventative measures are put into place immediately, hospital beds may become unavailable within a week.

And while this may happen under the watch of the empty chair in the Oval Office, AirBnB will not watch idly without putting their super powers to use, an anonymous source says.

“Patients could charge $1500 per day or more for shared ICU beds,”

Anonymous source

One anonymous source, who claims to be “[sex acting] someone with [alleged] great power at AirBnB” for career advancement, shared third-hand information of developing AirBnB plans to introduce shared hospital beds to both divert and monetize the impending crisis with a Some Kind of Diaper writer.

Patients would lie head to foot in the same bed, thereby doubling hospital capacity while simultaneously subsidizing health care costs.

When Hospitals Are Over Capacity, Patients Tend to Cause Problems, Experts Say

These hospital patients in Italy were caught having sex in their adjacent beds a few hours after this photo was taken.

Italy, Spain & Brazil Reported Patients “Acting Out”

In Brazil, three female patients were impregnated during their hospital stays, according to the Brazilian Government. Many countries reported fighting, STD’s. and, in one rare case (image above), a couple that fell in love and got married.

“Last night I pulled an 87 year old woman off of a 92 year old man – cleaning sticky body fluids off of everything withing three yards of their beds was the most disgusting thing I’ve ever had to do…and it took three hours.”

Jane Chiu, Nurse, Florida HCA