Local resident Derek Harmon was officially recognized as “Almost a Hero” after making almost enough of an effort to catch a purse snatcher.
Tag: satire
AI Breakthrough: ChatGPT to Get Artificial Libido, Researchers Eye Artificial Temper Next
Scientists at OpenAI have announced that ChatGPT will soon have an artificial libido, claiming it will bring a “human-like enthusiasm” to conversations.
Santa Found Dead in Fentanyl-Laced Cookie Incident: Cartels Clash Over Who Will Be the Next “Saint of Smuggling”
Santa Claus is dead, and so is the Christmas magic. Authorities claim fentanyl-laced cookies were to blame, but insiders now reveal Santa’s true legacy: a smuggling empire disguised as holiday cheer. With rival cartels fighting to install their own “Saint Nick,” Christmas might never be the same.
Bullying Best Exercise for Obese Children, Might Even Save Lives, Study Finds
In January 2020, 212 pediatricians of bullied and overweight children began reporting data anonymously to a University of Berlin graduate student as part of a study on bullying’s effects on the health of overweight children. The doctors were eager for the results of the study, as they long suspected results that no one else saw […]