Mar-a-Lago, FL—In what legal scholars are already calling a groundbreaking approach to criminal defense, former President and President Donald Trump spent hours this week furiously firing often misspelled, ALL CAPPED words into ChatGPT to clarify the full range of sex crimes that might be protected under a novel interpretation of presidential immunity.
Trump was introduced to the AI by an aid, who showed Trump the basics, then, at Trump’s request, left the room to give him privacy.
“But as I was about to shut the door I heard him yell, ‘WHAT THIS BULLSHIT AI CONTENT POLICY??’. So, to get around the policy restrictions, I told him to use the word, ‘hypothetically'”.
The aid reported that a few hours later Trump yelled to him, “I’M SICK OF TYPING ‘HYPOTHETICALLY’, CAN’T YOU CALL THEM AND TELL THEM TO REMOVE THEIR DAMNED POLICY OFF OF TRUMP?”
“Why don’t you just paste the word at the beginning of every sentence so you don’t have to keep typing it over and over?” the aid asked Trump.
“What the hell is ‘paste’?” Trump responded.
The aid explained the concept, but Trump had a difficult time remembering the keys to hold down.
“It’s CONTROL-V,” the aid said. “Should be easy to remember for you. Think ‘CONTROL VAGINA’.”
Trump grew exasperated by the lengthy, detailed responses with big words. “Yea, he doesn’t really like reading,” the aid explained. “But he was at his angriest when he realized he couldn’t interrupt chatGPT and had to sit and wait for it to print out these long-winded responses he wasn’t reading anyway. Eventually I showed him the ‘stop’ button.”
chatGPT Comments on the Incident
