Because it’s time to recognize ‘almost’ heroic For Demonstrating Sufficient Interest in Doing the Right Thing, But Not Enough to Be Heroic Heroes are often brave, stoic, noble characters who put themselves in danger for a greater good. It’s the ‘almost’ heroic events that we find more interesting. The gap between true heroism and the […]
“Gulf of America” Renamed “Gulf of Native America” by National Congress of American Indians
America renamed it once. Native tribes rename it back. Welcome to the Gulf of Native America.
God’s Approval Rating Hits Lowest in 1200 Years; Humanity Suspects Infidelity With a Younger, More Attractive Galaxy
With God’s approval rating tanking to a record-low 36%, humanity is reeling from what many are calling “a toxic, one-sided relationship.” Disillusioned believers are accusing the Almighty of emotionally ghosting Earth to focus on “some newer, shinier galaxy.”
Quantum Computer Decodes God’s Mysterious Ways, Explains Why Some Children Die Painful, Horrific Deaths
God no longer works in mysterious ways…Nasa scientists used a quantum computer to find for patterns in the extreme catastrophes throughout human history.
Husband’s Terminal Illness Restores Spark as Couple Realize This Could Be Their Last Argument
In a heartwarming twist on tragedy, local couple Mark and Susan Jacobs have found new life in their marriage, sparked by what could very well be their final argument.
Supreme Court Weighs TikTok Ban, Intellectuals Decry Loss of ‘Humanity’s Great Digital Renaissance’
The US blocks TikTok to protect its most precious intellectual assets…
China & US Seek MDMA-Assisted Therapy to Rekindle Relationship, Overcome Differences
Sitting on opposite beanbags, China and the US avoided eye contact, arms crossed, until the first wave of MDMA hit. “Oh wow,” the US said suddenly…
Local Man Hailed as ‘Almost a Hero’ After Half-Assed Effort Thwarting a Thief
Local resident Derek Harmon was officially recognized as “Almost a Hero” after making almost enough of an effort to catch a purse snatcher.