Hitler’s Ghost Was Adorable: Giggling, Blushing Like a Schoolgirl Meeting Her First Crush
In an unexpected twist from beyond the grave, hundreds of psychics worldwide reported this week that Adolf Hitler’s ghost is “absolutely gobsmacked” to learn of Donald Trump’s admiration. The spectral Führer is said to be “tickled pink” and “adorably cute” by Trump’s recent comments praising him and wishing his generals were more like Hitler’s own.
“It’s surreal,” said renowned spirit medium Carol Hensley, speaking through a cloud of incense. “He was so cute I just wanted to pick him up amd tickle him until he pee’d on himself!” Hensely admitted.
“Hitler’s spirit appeared to me and was practically gushing. I hadn’t seen anything like it since Joan of Arc showed up to brag about all the churches named after her.”
The reports started circulating after several of Trump’s former generals publicly revealed that Trump had expressed high regard for Hitler’s military leadership, sparking Hitler’s ghost to pop up like a ghastly Jack-in-the-Box for séance after séance. Psychics from California to Calcutta claim that Hitler’s apparition has appeared, swooning over Trump’s words and declaring, “It’s so rare to find someone in the living world who just gets me.”
“He couldn’t stop giggling,” confirmed psychic Helga Roder in Berlin. “It was like he had butterflies in his stomach. At one point, he clasped his ghostly hands together and said, ‘Mein Gott, Donald is such a visionary. Finally, a leader who respects the classics!’”
An Unlikely Bromance?
Sources close to the afterlife claim that Hitler’s spirit, usually known for pacing angrily and ranting about lost causes, has softened noticeably since Trump’s comments surfaced. According to mediums, Hitler has been appearing “almost bashful,” often catching himself mid-rant and saying things like, “Ach, who am I kidding? I couldn’t have held a candle to Donald!” Witnesses report that the ghost of the Führer has been wandering the ether like a lovesick teenager, moaning about “finding his soulmate” and asking mediums to deliver thank-you notes to Trump.
“It’s unprecedented,” said British psychic Nigel Crowe, shaking his head in disbelief. “Usually, when Hitler’s spirit makes an appearance, it’s all doom, gloom, and complaints about bunker acoustics. But last night, he manifested just to tell me, ‘This Trump fellow, he’s something special.’ Then he blushed and vanished.”
Historic Implications for the Underworld
News of this posthumous admiration has shocked historians and unsettled spirits who thought they knew Hitler’s afterlife routine. It’s also raised questions about whether Trump will receive the “honorary ghost badge” bestowed by the Führer—a dubious distinction previously reserved for fascist leaders and infamous warmongers.
Meanwhile, rumors swirl that Hitler’s spirit has been working tirelessly to arrange a “haunted Mar-a-Lago meet-and-greet,” complete with spooky candlelit dinners and eerie fog. According to one medium, the Führer’s spirit has expressed hope that Trump “could someday join him in the afterlife for a one-on-one mentorship.”
