116 year-old Ma-Huang accepted WD-40’s “What’s Left of Your Life-Time Supply Award” to promote the latest new application for WD-40: feminine dryness.
Category: Article Shorts
Capitol Hill “Street Throne” Appears Again at Summit & Olive Triggering Customary Performance Art
Street Throne Appears Again The infamous and mysterious “Capitol Hill Street Throne” appeared again this week at the top of another Capitol Hill incline, triggering locals to participate in a customary ritual that has developed over the years since the strange arrangement made its first surprise appearance in 2006. “The Throne” as locals call it, […]
Dog Park Water Bowl Spiked with Viagra Yet Again; Police Press Conference a Viral Hit
With no leads and a very full room of journalists, police officials held a press conference yesterday to warn whoever has been spiking public dog water bowls (e.g. dog parks) with Viagra that “we are putting all of our resources into this investigation.” The department, once again, presented crime photos to “connect the sick perpetrators actions to the very […]
Seychelles Lisp Recidivism Association Phone Fund-Raiser a Flop
Volunteers for Seychelles Lisp Recidivism Association (SLRA) held their first Subsistence Fund-Raiser last week as a last effort to keep the small non-profit operating. SLRA has been struggling after losing its 501(c) status after they had a clerical mix-up that changed their status from 501(c) to 501(t), a license to operate brothels in Nevada. Despite […]
NASA Celebrates Exciting Discovery of Female Employee Worthy of Male Salary
NASA took its first giant step forward for “womankind” by announcing it had finally found a female employee qualified for male compensation.