God no longer works in mysterious ways.
After pouring over decades of data on subjects such as child mortality, automobile fatalities, freak accidents, and more, NASA researchers say they have decoded God’s mysterious ways and can explain why some children die horrible, painful deaths. More →
NASA took its first giant step forward for “womankind” by announcing it had finally found a female employee qualified for male compensation.
“We’ve all known for years that, theoretically at least, a woman could become a ‘rocket scientist’, even if only a mediocre one.” NASA wrote on its website. “This mission was one of our longer explorations, but we’ve done it, we found a female employee worthy of a junior level male salary.”
Critics point to the lesson learned from astronaut Sally Ride. “When Sally died in 2012, she had kept her sexuality a secret for decades,” HR Director Fran Man said. “She kept that secret right up to her death, presumably because she wanted to be known as Ride the Astronaut, not, Ride the Lesbian Astronaut, even if she was Ride the Lesbian Astronaut. And one thing everyone in HR knows, if you compare a lesbian to a man, you’re going to get a black eye.”
This mission was one of our longer explorations, but we’ve done it, we found a female employee worthy of a junior level male salary.
NASA’s HR department responded to this criticism in its blog, writing “Lesbians often perform male duties both at work and in the home, and we don’t understand why anyone would oppose giving such employees more money. If the employee asks for the lower salary back, we’ll oblige.”
