Fulfilling his campaign promise to bring jobs back to the US, president Donald Trump declared today success.
“Thanks to me alone, I brought those factory jobs too difficult for reasonable white workers back home to be filled by our hard-working migrant Mexicans – the good ones,” Trump said today. “They do such a great job helping our farmers fill those jobs no one else wants, and now they can fill the factory jobs no white men or women want.”
Trump then began disputing his racist reputation.
“I don’t know what all this talk about me not liking Mexicans is about,” Trump told reporters, “I love Mexicans, they’re so useful. Every company should really have a team of them…they work so well in teams, you know, they’re kind of short but you seem them traveling around in these little packs. Very good at soccer, too. Very good. And there’s that Mexican guy on TV who is terrific with dogs. I haven’t seen a white guy handle dogs like that, so I don’t know what all this talk about me not liking Mexicans is about…it’s fake news people, fake news, that I can tell you.”
We’re going to seriously look into having Mexicans join the military – there’s no reason for a white man to have to go all the way to the doctor to get a note about bone spurs…that’s so inconvenient.
“I am so thankful for these Mexicans…can you imagine having to do this work?” Trump said. “We’re going to seriously look into having Mexicans join the military – there’s no reason for a white man to have to go all the way to the doctor to get a note about bone spurs…that’s so inconvenient.”